It Wasn't Enough
by J.J Way xxx
Summary: 'It lasted maybe an hour but the effect was still on going a month later. It'll continue the rest of my life' Kyman or Cartyle. Bad summary but I don't wanna give too much away.
1. Chapter 1

It was just suppose to be a one night thing. Not even that, it was a mistake; never suppose to happen. I hate him, and he hates me. It's just the natural order of things. Jew vs Nazi. Not Jew fucked by Nazi. He's a fat, racist, anti-Semitic asshole! I mean, he's not that fat anymore, but that's so not the point. He's still what I hate, and I'm still what he hates. But he fucked me, like a dirty slut. He's fucking homophobic is well to top it off. I don't know weather he even remembers, but I sure as fucking do.

How did it even happen? We were at a party at Bebe's house, one Saturday night about a month ago. I had drunk more than I normally do, just by the fact that my parents were out for the whole weekend and wouldn't see my hangover in action. I don't remember how much I had drank by the time he sauntered over to be. To be honest, I hardly remember anything apart from him dragging me into the toilet, bending me over the sink and thrusting into me. I moaned…I moaned like a complete whore. And afterwards, I just wanted more. He gave me more. Again against the wall. His strong arms around my waist, mine around his broad shoulders. I'm ashamed to say how good it felt. How even now I want that feeling again. But that was it. We were in the toilet maybe an hour, but the effect is still on going a month later. It'll continue the rest of my life.  
>After that Stan took me home. Dropped Wendy off, and stayed the night at my house. He was the one to ask: "What the fuck happened with you last night?" Maybe we're the only ones who remember, because nobody else has asked, and he hasn't said anything.<p>

I haven't told my mother, why would I? What I get up to is my own business. But now I have to tell her. I can't do this alone. I can't do this at all. It just isn't normal. Maybe it isn't true…but that's probably just wishful thinking. It was Wendy who pointed it out, and me and Stan laughed in her face. She came round earlier and gave me one of her sets. I didn't want to ask why she has one, but I took it gratefully still laughing at the idea. But now I sit here with the positive stick in my hand, wondering: Hell the fuck am I pregnant with Eric Cartman's baby?

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><p>First Kyman! Yea! I've only ever done Frerard's before, but I wanna reach out to other Slash pairings. Also at the moment I have an obsession with MPreg, so I thought Kyman MPreg would be pretty fucking cool XD<br>Not sure if I'm going to continue this, but I have already written the next chapter, so it's up to you the readers I guess :)


	2. Chapter 2

What am I going to do? I'm not ready for a child, I'm only 16. Maybe I could just get rid of it, then there'd be nothing to worry about. Could I do that though? It may still be but a foetus, and have half the DNA of manipulative fatass, but it's still a baby; still my baby. I don't think I'd have the heart be able to get rid of it. Should I tell Cartman? I don't know how he'd react. Laugh in my face, feel disgusted, hate me even more; ask me to get rid of it? Could he be the complete opposite? Hug me in his muscular arms, kiss my forehead and tell me it'll be okay, and that we'll raise the baby together. Would I like that? I have no intention on getting together with Cartman. He is Cartman for crying out loud. I can't help but think back to the time he used all those foetuses to create a new Shakey's Pizza. Yeah, that's what my child has to look forward to as a dad. Do I really have to tell him though? Logically, there's no way of him knowing unless I tell him. What would our child even be? Could it be Jewish? I'm sure it says that the baby can only be Jewish if the mother is. Do I count as the mother? Most likely…yes. I'm pretty sure Cartman will not raise a Jewish baby. Or any baby come to think of it.

I stopped pacing my room once I heard the door open, and look up to see Stan smiling worriedly at me. "You might wanna sit down dude." I had called him earlier telling him I had something important to tell him, but didn't say any more than that.  
>"Kyle, what's going on?" He asked while sitting down on my bed.<br>"I did a pregnancy test" I thought I'd get straight to the point, no point beating around the bush.  
>"W-What? Dude, did you actually go out and buy one of those things?"<br>"No, your girlfriend brought me one round…" He raised an eyebrow at me, most likely wondering why she has pregnancy tests is well. I shook my head, silencing his silence question.  
>"Well" he coughed "what was-urmm, what was the outcome of yours?"<br>"It's positive" his face said it all, complete shock and confusion, "and it's Cartman's" I added, but it seemed that was all he could take as he jumped up and ran out the room. Then I heard a distant sound of him throwing up, and a weak 'sorry dude' followed. I sat on my bed waiting for him to return with my head in my heads. This was all too fucked up. Stan looked a lot paler when he finally came back in, sitting down next to me.

After a few minutes of silence he finally asked, "have you told your mom?" I quietly shook my head, "are you going to?"  
>"I'm kinda scared on how she'll react to the whole gay sex thing to be honest. She is a strict Jew after all; all male same sex acts are forbidden" I shrug and sigh not knowing what to do with myself while my best friend sympathetically rubs my back.<br>"We'll get this sorted, Kyle. I'll always be here for you" I smiled up at him while he smiled back friendly.  
>"Do you think I should tell Cartman?"<br>"I'm all for giving advise, but I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole" we both laughed, before starting to discuss how to tell my mom. I'm so glad to have a supportive friend through this tough time, but I think I'll put off telling my family for the time being.

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><p>I had put this chapter up on deviantART, so I thought it was only fair I put it on here is well. I really want to continue this, but it actually not as easy as you might think to write. I have a plot idea in my head though, so that's most likely a good sign that I will keep writing this :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Me and Stan waited at the bus stop the next morning for our friends. Well, when I say friends I mean, friend and not-friend-who-just-so-happens-to-be-the-father-of-my-child. Kenny arrives first, and my first thoughts are 'why couldn't he be the father of my baby?' With his messy blonde hair, perfectly on show after he stopped wearing his hood up in 8th grade. He was tall, but still so skinny what with his family being as poor as they are. He had bruises on his face most likely from when he'd gotten into fights with other guys; or slapped by girls. It was his own fault though, flirting and sleeping with people who already had boy/girlfriends after all. That's probably a good reason as to why it'd be bad for him to be the dad of my child: he's a slut; just can't keep it in his pants.

Then I turn to look at Stan. Black fringe over his blue eyes. After Cartman he's the tallest out of us, with me being the shortest. He's reliable, kind, down to earth. Fit. Very fit; unlike Cartman he actually plays sport, star quarterback for the South Park Cows in fact. Stan throws up a lot though; like all the time. I can't see him looking after a baby, what with the smelly nappies, and them themselves throwing up. He's very cynical is well.

While these thoughts of my best friends ran through my head I didn't hear Cartman coming up behind me before his bitter-sweet voice enters my ears. "Hey guys…hey Kahl" Oh sweet Moses, I love how he says my name. It's a guilty pleasure, but then again most things about Cartman are to be. Especially sex. It may have only happened once, or technically twice, but it was so fucking amazing. His strong arms wrapped around- "Hey, I'm talking to you Fag!"  
>"Shut the fuck up, fatass! Don't talk to me like that!" Yeah, well…he shouldn't talk to be like that. I am carrying his first born, or first conceived, after all. He may not know it but that's not the point. Besides, if I'm a fag then so's he.<br>"Obviously someone's on their period" He muttered and I felt my angry boil, because I was so far from being on my period, and it was his fault. I was about to lash out before Stan grabbed my arm. Normally neither Stan nor Kenny gets involved in our fights. So I looked over at Stan who had his eyebrow raised before looking down at my stomach. I sighed, knowing he was right to stop me. If I got in a fight with Cartman the baby might end up getting hurt.  
>"Cartman don't be an ass" Stan tells him rolling his eyes. I feel the fatass's questionable gaze on me, but I try to ignore it while kicking the snow beneath my feet with my shoes. I think about when my baby will be born, playing about in the snow. It makes me smile. Then I realise I'm probably stood here smiling at the snow for no god damn reason.<br>"Are you alright, Kyle?" Kenny asks cheerily from the other side of Stan. Out of all of us in this little group, Kenny is happiest. Even after everything he has to be sad for: poverty, alcoholic parents, dying quite often; but he's always got a smile on his face.  
>"I'm fine thanks, Ken" I smile back at him, glad that it's not even a fake one. He gives me a thumbs up and looks around for the bus. I'm still well aware of Cartman staring at me, but I don't look back at the narcissist.<p>

I can't concentrate on lessons today, there's so much going on through my mind. Normally I'd have Stan here, but he's at an 'emergency' football practice, so I'm all on my own in a science lesson we've already done, but the others in my class are so dumb that we're going over it again. When I hear a scrap of a stall moving on the floor beside me I look up from where I'm staring at the frog cage at the front of the classroom, (Stan's lucky he's not here with his affection with animals and such) and to my luck, Cartman is sitting down next to me. "What do you want, fatass?" I mumble turning my gaze back to the frogs. Just sitting without a care in the world. They're lucky; they don't even get a chance to choose the dad of their spawn. The female just lays her eggs and other males come and fertilize them. They don't have to worry about being a pregnant male, because frogs don't even get pregnant. Lucky green bastards.  
>"Well, let me enlighten you Jew-boy since you weren't listening. We've been told to get into pairs, and since we're the smartest in this class I thought it'd be best we work together to get this project over with quicker" It's true, we are the smartest. Cartman was never smart in Elementary, always getting F's unless it had something to do with World War 2. He was always highly intelligent, don't get me wrong, but he never put it to use in the class room until we moved up to high school. I guess that's a good trait our child will have, great intelligence. "Kahl?" Cartman suddenly snapped, pulling me out of my thoughts.<br>"Sorry. Yeah, sure, guess your right. What's the project about?"  
>"Urmm, inheritance and genetics, chromosomes and shit like that" oh, just my luck.<p>

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><p>I have decided that Kyle is going to look a bit like skinny!Patrick Stump in this story. If you don't know what he looks like google him. He is the lead singer for Fall Out Boy, and is awesome XD When you google him, it's the picture of him in a suite and with an orange background. But obviously with redder hair.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

"I was thinking, maybe you should see a doctor" I raised an eye brow at my best friend as we walked home; both Kenny and Cartman had detention for throwing paper balls at Miss Bradleys ass. Apparently, she had the best ass out of all the teachers, and I'm sure if I was into that sort of thing I'd agree, but as I'm not, I think Mr Davis has the best ass. "It's just, we don't know anything about male pregnancy dude, or female either, but that's not the point. I just think you should see a professional instead of going off what a stick says" he shrugs but I completely agree with what he's saying, I should make sure before telling anyone.  
>"Okay, I'll make an appointment for tomorrow. You have to come with me though" I tell him, and he looks a bit spectacle. "What?" I ask.<br>"What if they think I'm the dad?" He asks warily and I just sigh, because seriously.  
>"Stan, nobody is going to think you're the dad just because you're coming with me" hehe, cuming with me. No, dirty Kyle; that will not help prove your point.<br>"But what if they do? And Wendy finds out? She'll think we're sleeping together and dump me"  
>"Wendy's a lot smarter than that Stan. Besides, if I find out it's true, you can tell Wendy" wait, is that such a good idea? If she finds out then she'll tell Bebe for sure, and everyone will fucking know. Bebe opens her mouth just as much as she opens her legs.<br>"Thanks, dude. I'll come with you; what are super best friends for?" Well, I think most super best friends don't have to be practically bribed to come to their super best friend's hour of need.

I sigh and pick up my book again; the last thing I need right now is to be making a presentation about fucking genes. Right, where was I…? "The nucleus contains your genetic material in the form of chromosomes. The human cell contains 23 pairs of chromosomes. For example, there are two number 19 chromosomes and two number 12 chromosomes, etcetera." Why not just kill me now and get it over with? As I write the information on a piece of paper that will later go on a bigger piece of paper for our presentation (because me and Cartman decided we didn't want to work on it in the same room, so are doing our bit for it and bring it together later), my phone rings. I think about leaving it, but I put my pen down anyway and answer it. "Hello?"  
>"Hey Kahl" I should start listening to my thoughts more.<br>"What do you want?" I pick up my pen again and carry on writing, hoping he won't talk for long.  
>"Well, considering we are working together, I was wondering how your end of things was coming?" I look down at my so far one sentence.<br>"It's going good. How about yours?" I sigh, and rub my face. Why couldn't we be learning how to tell your enemy you're pregnant with his child? That's something I need in fucking life.  
>"Finished it" What? "Yeah, I can tell you're surprised, and know you've got hardly anything done. I just know you that well Jew-boy" I huff out an irritated sigh, and feel like pounding his face in. Although, maybe he could pound me sometime. "Look Kahl, if you want you can come over my house tomorrow and I'll help you finish it?" That makes me smile, Cartman being nice to me. It's rare, but I do love it. "Since your too much of an lazy Jew to do it yourself" and the smiles gone.<br>"I can't tomorrow, I'm busy" I had booked my doctors appointment for tomorrow.  
>"Doing what?" He snaps back and I have to resist the urge to say 'Because I'm going to see if I really am carrying your spawn'<br>"None of your business, fatass. Now go away so I can finish this work" then I hang up without another word. I hate him, I hate him so much.

"So, Kyle? What's up?"  
>"Well, to get straight to the point, doctor; I think I might be pregnant" he nods and his eyes turned over to Stan questionably "No, he's not the dad" I laugh and Stan gives me an 'I told you so look'<br>"Okay then, if you'd like to get on the bed and lift up your shirt for me" I did just that, and he smeared cold gel on my stomach. After a few minutes of silence, he turned the screen towards me. "I don't know weather this is good or bad news for you, but…you are indeed pregnant" My breath caught in my throat and I didn't know what to say. I looked over at Stan who was squinting at the screen.  
>"I don't see anything" he said, and looking at the screen myself, neither did I.<br>"It's at little black spot there" The doctor pointed at the screen and me and Stan both 'ohh-ed'  
>"How is this even possible doctor?" I asked, it just seemed so much more real and…impossible now. The doctor stood up from his chair, and turned his back on us with his hands behind his back. I shared a look with Stan before the doctor spoke.<br>"You see Kyle, before you were born your parents were in a Cult of Cthulhu and you were cursed with, such a power!" his voice had risen throughout his speech, and he was now standing dramatically with an arm raised in the air. I huffed a sigh and folded my arms.  
>"No doctor; that's Kenny's back story" I rolled my eyes, while Stan pinched the bridge of nose and shut his eyes.<br>"Oh…which one are you again?" The doctor asked turning back around.  
>"Kyle Broflovski"<br>"The Jew" Stan added, and the doctor nodded opening his filing cabinet.  
>"And you said to see a professional" I mumbled, seriously irritated.<br>"Dude, everyone in this podunk redneck town is an idiots, what did you expect?" Oh yeah…

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><p>Had serious writers block with this one, but I watched a Gerard Way interview, and he was talking about writers block and it really helped. Just one of the reasons I look up to Gee XD<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Yet again I pace around my room, but this time with Stan sitting on my bed watching me. I'm going to tell them…my family. Shit, what will they say? I stop in front of my mirror, looking at my reflection. I'm gunna get fat. I look down at stomach and rub it with my left hand. I hear a giggle behind me and shoot my head up, remembering Stan is still in my room. "You look like such a girl dude."  
>"Shut up" I mutter but smirking, while I carry on rubbing my stomach. I technically am a girl, in the inside anyway. The doctor said I was born female inside. With a womb, and my hips have always been wider then the other boys. I'm the shortest boy in my year. But my face and obviously cock, are male. I'm like a he-she-no; I am a he-she. I'm so confused, I kinda hate this. I frown, before remembering the baby currently growing in me and smile again. I hear the door open and close downstairs, which signals my father is home from work.<br>"It's now or never Kyle" I turn and nod at Stan, before we both make our way downstairs.

I walk in the kitchen with Stan trailing behind me, and find my mother making herself a coffee. Stan pats my back and I take a step closer to her, then cough to grab her attention. She turns round and smiles at me, which somewhat calms my nerves. "Can you go sit in the living room please ma?"  
>"Why? What's up bubbe?" I hate that name, it's so embarrassing. At least she doesn't pronounce my name as 'Kahl' because then it'd be weird me finding it such a turn on when Cartman does it.<br>"If you go sit the living room I can tell you. Ike's already in there" She looks curious, but doesn't she always, and goes as instructed. Just dad left to go. I find him in his office and ask him the same. He goes more willingly then my mother. Now they're all seated: dad, my mother and Ike on the couch in that order, me standing in front of them and Stan sitting on the armchair to my left. "So, you understand the how on what I'm going to tell you but not the why, and I hope you except it anyway," I glance at each person in turn before taking a deep breath and carrying on, "I'm pregnant." Ike goes to laugh, before seeing the serious expressions on everyone's faces and thinks better of it. My mother goes with saying her not unusual 'what, what, what!', while my dad just looks shocked.  
>"Well…congratulations to the both of you then, I guess" Ike says smiling awkwardly. I laugh before correcting him on the fact that Stan is not the father.<br>"Then who is?" My mother immediately asks. I stare down at my hands before answering:  
>"I don't really want to talk about that yet"<br>"No, we want to know who has impregnated our son, Kyle" my dad speaks up, finally saying something.  
>"And I don't want to talk about it dad" I growl back, before widening my eyes in shock at the fact I'd just spoken to my father like that. I'm sure it's just pregnancy hormones or something.<br>"You're just like your mother when she was pregnant" he replies smiling and shaking his head.  
>"Gerald!" My mother exclaims, putting a shocked hand on her chest while Stan and Ike laugh. I myself feel slightly offended, and worried. I don't want to be like my mother. I love her and everything but…I'm not even going to finish that sentence.<p>

"Kenny!" I shout across the corridor, and blonde stops to turn around, smiling and waving back to me. "Heya Ken" I greet once I have reached him, and we carry on walking towards the canteen.  
>"Have fun in English?" He grins, knowing that's the class I hate the most. It's not really the lesson, it's more the teacher. He has one of those voices that practically sends you to sleep.<br>"Uh, yeah, love that lesson" I sarcastically reply, and he rolls his eyes.  
>"If I didn't know you were joking I'd hit you right now." We both smile and carry on the rest of the journey in silence.<p>

"Did you tell him?" Stan asks as me and Kenny sit down.  
>"No, couldn't find the right moment" I mumble and look over at Kenny biting my nails.<br>"What?" The blonde questions worriedly.  
>"Well, urmm, this may come of a shock but just go with it"<br>"What, that you love? I kinda already knew Kyle…I can see it your dazzling emerald eyes" he sighs lovingly, with his chin in hand. I know he's joking, but still serious moment right now.  
>"Kenny" I warn and he puts his hands up in surrender.<br>"Alright, alright, what is it?" I bit my lip, before leaning over to him and whispering in his ear 'I'm pregnant', I've had to say that so many times already. It's starting to get old.  
>"I'm sorry what?" Kenny asks astonished. He looks over to Stan, who shields his mouth with hand and mouths 'it's Cartman's' "What the fuck dude!"<br>"What's going on fags?" The one whom we'd been talking about suddenly appears, Butters by his side.  
>"Nothing" we all reply in unison, which will most likely-no defiantly, raise suspicion in the fatass.<br>"Well, fellas, it kinda seems there is something going on" I roll my eyes at Butters and start forking my food while they sit down opposite us. I look up at Cartman, but find him already staring at me. Tearing my gaze away, I let my thoughts wander; wishing things would be easier in my life. Even in preschool things were hard. Setting fire to Miss Claridge and everything. Things seem to have died down once we reached 6th grade, but I guess we'll never be normal.

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><p>I've been waiting all day to put this on but it wouldn't let me sign in *sigh*. I'm going to be honest and say I hate to chapter, like so much. I feel I could have done better, but I just couldn't. But this chapter had to be uploaded otherwise how would I be able to upload the next chapter, so please deal with the bad writing for now :)<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Stan was talking about, urmm, Wendy I think, on my left and Kenny half listening next to him. Cartman was on my right, just focused on the path in front of him. We all walked home in a straight line, as we have done on so many occasions. Not listening to Stan, I wish I had my hat with me, since it's so cold. I stopped wearing my hat two years ago in 9th grade, prior to me cutting and slightly straighten my hair. It's short enough to mange and long enough for a guy to grip on while we're…doing stuff. A sudden crash made me jump. We all looked towards the sound of the noise and seeing what it was, carried on walking. A fallen down lamppost. "Kenny's dead" Stan muttered.  
>"Yeah" I mumbled back. It was such a common occurrence now that we don't bother with the 'Oh my god, they killed Kenny…you bastard' anymore. Besides, at the moment I had more important things to worry about; Cartman is coming round my house to finish the project. Stan made me promise him that I'd tell Cartman about the baby. I don't want to do this by myself, but Stan said it'd be weird if he was there is well…and he doesn't want to be mistaken for the father again. He can be so selfish sometimes.<p>

I walk into my house with Cartman right behind me. I honestly didn't want him coming in my home, for two reasons, one-it was Cartman, I don't like the thought of him my safe place, and two-was in fear of my parents figuring out he is the other half of my baby's DNA. I don't think they'll be happy with having a grandchild with wanna-be-Nazi genes. "I'm home!" I call into the empty room, closing the door behind Cartman.  
>"Oh hello Kyle" my mother replies cheerily appearing in the kitchen doorway, "and Eric" she adds shocked, once seeing the named standing beside me.<br>"Hello Mrs Broflovski, it's nice to see you again" Cartman greets back with a fake smile; but my mom being that naïve thinks he's genuinely being nice and smiles warmly at him.  
>"It's nice to see you too, Eric. Have you heard the good news?" She asks proudly while my eyes widen in horror.<br>"What-"  
>"No he hasn't mother" I hiss back, she doesn't tell me off for my attitude like she normally would; I've been like this now for the past 24 hours, I just can't control my hormones. She makes an 'opps' face and scuttles back into the kitchen. I ignore Cartman's questionable face, which he has so often at the moment, and make my way upstairs signalling him to follow.<p>

It only takes two minutes into the task for Cartman to question what the good news is, and I tell him to let it drop until after we've finished. But, Eric Theodore Cartman, is a stubborn bastard. "Come on, Kahl. If you didn't want me to question it you shouldn't have brought it up"  
>"I didn't bring it up" I shoot back, but he just shrugs and carries on sticking. "Once we're done I'll tell you" I say taking a deep breath; I'm so fucking nervous. "It's very…important" he looked at me shocked then, which he should do. I don't share things with him, not since we were 11, not really even before then. The only reason he knew I was gay was because he caught me making out with Craig in janitors closet.<br>"Why would you tell me if it's so important?" He whispered. I looked up at him and sighed.  
>"Because you need to know" I stuck down the last piece of information on our presentation, and readied myself to tell him.<p>

He sat on my bed, while once again, I stood in front of him. My palms became sweaty and I fiddled with them, trying to find the right words to this, as it would seem, easy statement, but it wasn't. How could it be easy to tell your enemy you're…with him. I saw Cartman becoming more impatient as he sat there. "Do you remember, about 5 weeks ago, when we had sex in Bebe's toilet?" His face was a mixture of emotions, embarrassment, rage, confusion…scared.  
>"Why are you bringing that up Jew-boy?" He snarled and I winced at his voice. Now was not a good time for him to be like this to me.<br>"So you do remember then?" He did an irritated groan, and rubbed his face with his hands; I took this as a yes. I felt my eyes pick as I opened my mouth, and as I went to say those two words again a tear slid down my cheek. I didn't want this, not him; why him? He looked at me again, my watery eyes locking with his now soften brown ones, and I whispered…"I'm pregnant"

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><p>Sorry, I put this up on deviantART two days ago but forgot all about putting it on here. The next chapter may take a while though, as I'm going back to school tomorrow and have no idea how to carry on...any thoughts?<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm pregnant" I was scared, terrified of what his reaction would be. I had every right to be…his face turned to disgust.

"Jew, I don't know what you're playing at, but stop being such a freak." He hissed at me, I'd never been so hurt by his words then by this. A freak?

"I'm being fucking serious!"

"Yeah…sure you are. I know I've got a hot-bod, but if you want it, try harder then 'I'm pregnant'; although I don't date kanks" he's never fucking dated anyone. I keep that thought to myself though as he starts to pick up his coat and I rush over to my desk draw and pull out the pregnancy scan. I stand in front of him again and show him the picture.

"I know you can't really see anything at the moment because it's still early days, but it's that black dot there" I point to the black dot, and he stares intently at it. When I think I may have convinced him, he looks back up at me and frowns.

"I guess you've gone to quite the trouble haven't you"

"Goddammit Cartman! I'm not trying to get a piece of fatass body! I am fucking pregnant and it's your entire fault! The least you can do is except that I am!" I scream at him, and tears continue to stream down my face. Fuck my hormonal self. I hear hurried footsteps coming up the stairs, and mom bursts in.

"Bubbala, what's wrong?" I see Cartman roll his eyes, before I turn around and cry into my mother's shoulder. "This stress isn't good for the baby"

"Mom, it's him" I sob, "its fucking his!" It takes her a while before she gasps. I hear Cartman growl behind me before he's storming out the room.

I sat on the sofa, crying my eyes out while my mom made me tea. That couldn't have gone any worst. Well, I guess it could. He could have hit me or something, not that I think Cartman would sink that low. If he doesn't want to believe me, that's fine, I don't need him anyway. The baby will be better off without him. Cartman'd probably try and make it a crack baby athletic to make money. "Here you go, bubbe" my mother interrupts my thoughts by handing me my tea in a Lord of the Rings mug, and sits down beside me with her own plain white cup.

"Thanks mum." I blow on the side of my mug before taking a slip; so warm and I let it sooth me, calming my cries to mere sniffs. We sit in silence for a few minutes, before my mother turns questionably at me.

"Do you love Eric, Kyle?" She asks causally and I choke on my drink in shock.

"No! Of course I don't love him, I hate him" I reply after my coughing fit. Why would she think I love him?

"Well, it would have been easier if you did. How was the baby convinced then?" Sweet Moses, this just keeps getting worst.

"Well, urmm, it was at Bebe's party and we both got really drunk" I whisper facing towards the other side of the room instead of at her while my cheeks warm up in embarrassment. It's not really the conversation I want to be having with my mother. Although, I never imagined I would ever be having this conversation with anyone; the whole pregnant by Cartman thing.

"Where abouts in the Stevens house did this happen?"

"Mom!"

"I just need to know, bubbe" She says with a firm voice, and I know as well as many others that when she gets an idea, she's not going to let it go, so I might as well just get it over with and answer her.

"Bathroom" Barely above a whisper though. "It was a mistake mom, it'll never happen again, I promise. I have no idea why I had sex with Cartman," even though it was really good, "I completely regret it," well, maybe not completely. I mean, it was one of the most pleasurable sexual experiences of my life. Something I wouldn't think Cartman would be great at if I hadn't had a go myself. I even remember once saying to Stan about how he wouldn't even be able to find his dick under all his fat. I can't believe how wrong I was. "I can with all confidence say he was the best fuck I'd ever had."

"Well…that's nice to know, Kyle" Wait, did I just say that out loud? This day really couldn't get any worst.

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><p>So, yeah, Cartman thinks that Kyle is a filthy Jew lair, for those of you who didn't pick up on that.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

The wait at the bus stop was uncomfortable. I hoped Stan would come first so I didn't have to face Cartman by myself. I wonder if he told anyone? Maybe he's come to his senses and believes me? Shut up Kyle, this is Cartman we're talking about. He probably just thinks you're up to one of your 'Jew tricks'. I hate him so much. I feel my hands turn to fists as Stan walks up to me, much to my comfort. "Hey dude" he says warily, noticing my angry appearance. I calm myself and let it go. "I guess it went bad with Cartman then?"  
>"He said I was lying to get a piece of his 'hot bod'" putting in the use of air quotes "then he stormed out and I had to have a conversation with my mother on how the baby was conceived." I mask my sadness with an annoyed huff, and cross my arms. My super best friend laughs, as I see our blonde friend approaching us.<br>"That must have been awkward"  
>"What was awkward?" Kenny asks, finally reaching us.<br>"Kyle had to tell his mom about having sex with Cartman" Stan started to laugh harder and Kenny joined in. I just stood there waiting for them to finish with my arms still crossed.  
>"It's not fucking funny" I mutter, but they don't stop, not that I would have expected them to.<br>"What are you gaybots laughing about?" I tense as I hear that voice behind me, I seriously can't be dealing with him; I hate him.  
>"Nothing" Stan says once he's calm down. "Wait…you're a fucking bastard Cartman!" he then shouts.<br>"Stan don't" I tell him, but my comment is ignored.  
>"What the fuck are you talking about Stan?" Cartman asks through gritted teeth.<br>"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Stan snaps in return, now being held back by Kenny. "You got my best friend pregnant! And now you won't even believe that he is!" Cartman growls before turning to give me a death glare.  
>"You may have everyone else convinced on your little fucked up joke, but I can see right through your-"<br>"Shut the fuck up fatass!" I scream in his face, "why would I go to all this trouble? I want nothing to do with you!"  
>"You're just a stupid kank!" Normally I would have lunged at him by now, but…I can't.<br>"Fuck off fatass" I whisper instead, staring at the old school bus emerging up the road, while Stan glares across at Cartman and Kenny watches him closely. I don't dare to see what he is doing, and I honestly don't care.

"Is it true you're pregnant, dude?" I had only begun to sit down in my seat in science next to Stan, before Clyde turned around in his seat in front of us.  
>"Who told you that?" I ask hesitantly.<br>"Bebe" he answers simply, how did I not guess? I look over at Stan, raising an eyebrow.  
>"You said I was allowed to tell Wendy; how was I to know she'd tell Bebe?" I dunno Stan, maybe because you've been dating her like eight years.<br>"So is it true?" I turn back to Clyde and slowly nod not looking him in the eye. This is so embarrassing. "Who's the baby daddy?" He asks eagerly, and I think about it for a second before answering.  
>"Urmm…I don't know, I can't really remember" I lie because I don't want everyone to know I had sex with Eric Cartman…or that I'm carrying his spawn. I shouldn't really call my baby that…<br>"Is it Craig's?" I fucking wish. Besides, I haven't been out or had sex with Craig in over five months. So, I shake my head. "Craig!" He then shouts across the classroom. "Craig!"  
>"What!" Craig shouts back and I hide my face in my hands. At risk of repeating myself; this is so embarrassing. My ex-boyfriend knows I'm a he-she is well.<br>"Kyle said it's not yours!"  
>"What's not mine?" Maybe he doesn't know then…<br>"The baby he's carrying!"…but he defiantly does now.  
>"Clyde" I hiss at him, but he just turns to me and grins. "Will you please shut the fuck up now?"<br>"Are you sure?" Craig shouts again before Clyde can answer me. Fed up with this, I stand up and shout to him instead.  
>"I haven't had sex with you with you in like five months. Do I really look five months pregnant?" He just sticks his finger up at me and carries on doodling in his book. I sit back down as Token does next to Clyde.<br>"I dunno, dude" he says to me, "You could have kept some of his sperm."  
>"Yeah, like turkey baster" Clyde laughs as I cringe.<br>"Okay, that's just sick dude." I don't want to be having this conversation anymore.  
>"Why? Craig's fucking hot." I watch eyes wide as Clyde bites his bottom lip staring over at Craig. I guess you learn something new everyday.<p>

* * *

><p>I kinda like CraigXKyle and CraigXClyde<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

I'd seen Cartman less and less as these weeks had progressed. Although he was out of sight, he wasn't out of mind; many times I've been looking down at my stomach and thought 'oh God! My child is going to be a fucking Cartman,' and then images of that time we went round Cartman's grandma's house came rushing back to me. People stopped asking me questions about the pregnancy as they became bored and moved on, which I was thankful for, it was becoming harder not to just scream in there faces 'it's Cartman's!' So the only people who knew were Stan, Kenny, my family and in a way Cartman, but he still didn't believe me. I was nine weeks gone now, and had my first antennal appointment today. It's not that I was worried about it; just somewhere-very deep-inside of me wanted Cartman to be there is well. I still hate him, don't get me wrong; it's for the baby's sake not mine, obviously. The baby deserves to have both parents, despite how fucked up the one is. So yeah, for the baby…I don't like Cartman, and I certainly don't miss him. I hate him, I hate him, I fucking hate him! He's a repugnant Nazi asshole. Even if I did like him, which I don't, it just wouldn't work. There's only one person in history he'd be suited for and that's "Kyle Broflovski?" Wait, that's not what I was going to say at all.  
>"Come on Bubbe," my mom mutters touching my arm slightly which finally snaps me out of my thoughts. That's when I notice the nurse waiting for us the follow her. I shallow my nerves and get up from the plastic chair.<p>

"Now it's not everyday we get a pregnant male in," she started laughing lightly to herself, "I'm Jenny and I'll be your midwife." I rolled my eyes at her cheeriness while my mother shook her hand. "Now, firstly I liked to let you know the risks with your baby; you have diabetes, is this correct?" I nodded dumbly, scared of where this was leading to. "I'm not sure weather you're aware or not, but with your medical condition your baby is in higher risk of dangers."  
>"What kind?" My mother asked before I could.<br>"A common problem is the condition, macrosomia, which basically means your baby will be larger then the avenge; this is because the baby will receive too much sugar via the placenta because their mother has high blood sugar levels. Naturally the baby's pancreas will produce insulin to use up the extra sugar, and this extra sugar is converted into fat, thus making the larger baby. This will cause you discomfort during the last months of pregnancy.  
>"It is important you keep your blood sugar levels at the right amount, because also if it's consistently high your baby may develop dangerously low blood sugar levels right after delivery. If that is the case, doctors will have to give the baby glucose intravenously."<br>"That doesn't sound all that bad; Kyle always has his blood sugar levels right." She put a hand on my knee and squeezed it kindly. I sat still, slightly confused; there was a lot to think about.  
>"Well, there is more." Awesome. "The baby is twice as likely to have a serious birth defect, three times more likely to die within four weeks of birth, and you're five times more likely for you to have a stillborn. Of course, this is all added to the risks that come with male pregnancy. Also there is a risk of health problems according shortly after birth, such as heart and breathing problems." By the time Jenny had finished, my mom had her head in one hand with her eyes closed. I carried on sitting, with a million thoughts racing through my head. Just because there was risks of this happening doesn't mean it defiantly will. There are risks with any pregnancy, right? My baby could live a whole life, and die from old age, right?<br>"W-what can I do to, to prevent all of this?" I finally stuttered after a moment of silence.  
>"Well the main thing would be to keep your sugar levels constant, so it should be monitored a lot more closely. As for your own health, after this I will book you in for an appointment for your kidneys to be assessed, and an eye test, which you will also have at 28 weeks." I don't think I'm going to be able to cope with all this. I feel like Tweek, so much pressure.<p>

The rest of my appointment went like it normally should. Jenny asked me loads of questions, like weather I smoke or drink, we ran through diet and exercise plans, and I did a blood and wee test. Then just like the first time I went and saw the doctor I had to lie on a hospital bed and Jenny smeared cold goo on my stomach. This time though it took about 30 minutes well she scanned the whole of the foetus for signs of disabilities and such. We were given the all clear, for now.  
>But the whole time that was happening, I couldn't help but think over weather I wanted the baby anymore. There's so much stress, and things to consider. If I have an abortion now, I won't have time to become more use to the idea or get more attached. I don't know how I'd be able to cope if I had a stillborn or if it died a couple of weeks after birth. It'll be easier if I get rid now, that way it's like losing something I didn't really have.<p>

I lie on my bed in my dark room, with my arms loosely hugging my little bump; the only thing I can think of now, is how much I wish Cartman was here.

* * *

><p>I'm not sure weather this is all right, I don't have diabetes.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

I emit a loud sigh, and look back at my super best friend who decided he wanted to help me with my problems. Stan was still thinking though. When I first sat down in maths, he had asked how my appointment went and naturally I told him, and then asked his opinion on weather I should get an abortion or not. I hardly got any sleep last night thinking it over. Then that would make me think about what Cartman would do, and then my thoughts would be completely consumed by him. Weather it was just because I was carrying his DNA, my hormones or maybe that I was actually starting to have feelings for him, I didn't know. I don't see a reason why it would be the later, nothing has really changed; he hasn't suddenly become a nicer person, in all honesty he's become worst, ignoring me and the fact he will a child. Or might have a child; since there's still the chance to get it out of me. Maybe it was just that I didn't want to do this alone, and my mind was instantly turning to Cartman as the solution. But it felt like more than that. I truly hate to admit it, but I miss him, if only for the little arguments we have. I hear a cough, snapping me out of my thoughts, and turn to the source of the noise. "I don't want to give my opinion." Stan finally says. I just continue to stare at him, in both confusion and annoyance. I had been waiting, for that? Whatever…  
>"That's fine; I've made up my mind anyway." Stan raised a questioning eyebrow at me, but I smiled and turned back to the equation on the board.<p>

I shoved food back in my mouth before answering Bebe's question, "yeah, it's fine, perfectly healthy." 'At the moment', I added in my head. It's not as if it was important anymore. Bebe smiled sweetly at me, unaware of what was going on in my head.  
>"I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me, and when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me." The newly arrived Kenny grabs my hand and winks at me.<br>"Thanks Ken," I say sarcastically, shaking his hand off. "Think you can go a day without singing Lonely Island?" He just smiles and half shrugs.  
>"Do you know what it is yet?" Clyde asks from next to Bebe.<br>"No, you don't find out till its like 20 weeks gone or something, I'm only 9 weeks." I hadn't even noticed Cartman approaching us till I heard him groan, annoyed.  
>"Are you still going the fuck on about that?" He laughs while I glared at him.<br>"What is your problem Cartman?" Bebe asks confused.  
>"Come on, you can all believe he's pregnant. You're just pulling a sick joke aren't you Kahl?" I got up and started to walk away. Behind me I heard Cartman slam his tray onto the table before his horrid voice followed, "just fucking admit it you Jew freak!" I stopped as the whole canteen turned quiet. Slowly turning around I walked up to him, but stopped about a meter away. Silently, I lifted my arms to stretch out at my sides.<br>"If you really believe this is just one whole fucking joke, then fucking hit me, we'll see what happens then, either way I won't be pregnant anymore," I smiled at him and stood waiting. Then time seemed to slow down as I saw him raise his fist, and was only slightly shocked as it started to move towards me. Before I knew it Cartman was now lying on the floor holding his lip which was starting to bleed. I turned my head as I lowered my arms to see Stan panting, fists still clenched.  
>"You fucking disgust me," he hissed at the piece of shit on the floor. Stan then turned to me, face softening slightly, and gently grabbed my arm pulling me out of the canteen and view of watchful eyes. "You wanted him to hit you didn't you?" He muttered to me with disappointment…I didn't answer.<p>

I walked home by myself; I really just wanted to be alone. He went to hit me, and still I want him. What is wrong with me? Everything will be fine soon. Fine and back to normal, or as normal as this town can get. "Kyle!" A voice shouts behind me and I recognise it instantly.  
>"Go away Butters! I'm not in the mood!" I shout back without turning around.<br>"Eric doesn't like that you're having his child Kyle." I sigh before starting to turn around.  
>"I don't ca-" I cut myself off as I see what the blonde is holding. A knife; sunlight bouncing off the shiny surface. "B-Butters?" I asked warily, not taking my eyes of the sharp object.<br>"Eric doesn't like that you're having his child…Kyle" he repeats before I start to run.

* * *

><p>Guess what happens next?<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Quickly turning round the corner, I don't dare to look back at the blonde running after me, nor do I watch where I'm going. I need to save my baby. Wait, why? I'm getting an abortion anyway. Then I need to save myself. Knowing Butters he won't just kill the foetus, he'll kill me is well. "Kyle! Stop running!" As if I'm going to stop just because he asks me too. He's not only crazy, but stupid. My breathing is rapid, and it's getting harder to not just collapse. I never use to be this unfit. I guess it's just the added panic. Looking around slightly I recognise some of my surroundings. Realising what street I'm on, I pick up my pace. I sigh slightly in relief when I see Cartman walking up his path.  
>"Cartman!" He takes a second to look for the source of the noise before spotting me, not looking happy about it and carrying on. I reach him before he can make it up the steps to his door. "Please stop him Cartman!" I beg, panic coating my voice. "I'm sorry okay? Just make him stop!" He looks confused before seeing Butters approaching us, then his face goes back to a disinterested emotion. "Cartman…" I whisper, losing hope that he'll even stop Butters, and actually wanted this.<br>"Oh hamburgers, this was gunna be a surprise Eric," he smiles up at Cartman and it makes me feel sick how innocent he looks. I take a small step away from the both of them, scare about what their next moves might be.  
>"What surprise?" Cartman asks, raising an eyebrow.<br>"Well, getting rid of the baby of course," Butters waves the knife at me. Cartman's eyes follow and I send him one last pleading look before he looks back to Butters.  
>"You believe he's pregnant?" He asks simply.<br>"What?" Butters chuckles nervously, while Cartman takes a step towards him.  
>"After everything I've told you, you believe his lies, instead of me?" Butters' eyes go wide in shock as he realises his mistake. "You've betrayed me Butters."<br>"N-no, oh gosh I'm sorry, I was only trying to help Eric." He says defensively before looking down sadly at the knife in his hand.  
>"Get out of my sight," Cartman mutters through gritted teeth, looking to the side instead of the blonde in front of him. Butters didn't move, just stared up at him. "I said get out of my sight!" Without another word, he scurried off, leaving Cartman to stare slightly angrily after him and me standing there confused. As Butters became out of sight Cartman carried on walking into his house, "come on Jew." A small smile appears on my lips as I follow Cartman into his house. He saved me.<p>

"Thank you, Cartman," saying those words to the fatass still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  
>"I can't believe you let Butters chase you with a knife. I mean, come on, it's Butters," he laughs walking into his kitchen while I flop down on his couch.<br>"You didn't hear him dude, I thought he was gunna kill me." Cartman looks at me both questionably and in amusement from where he's making drinks. "He said 'Eric doesn't like that your having his child Kyle', but in a threatening voice." I look over at him for an answer, but it seems he's ignoring me. Leaning my chin in palm of my hand, I gaze out the window instead. "It's not like it's going to be an issue for much longer anyway," I mumble to myself.  
>"Why isn't it?" I jump slightly as Cartman's voice passes my eardrum. He sits down next to me, handing me my drink. Looking down into the glass I find lemonade; shrugging, I take a sip. "Why isn't it going to be an issue?"<br>"You really want to know about my 'fake' pregnancy?" I take another sip of my drink, loving the feel of the cold liquid on my burning throat.  
>"Why not?" He shrugs in reply.<br>"I'm getting an abortion." I sigh, and then there's a hint of shock on his fetchers. There's a short silence before he speaks again.  
>"Why?" Is he really interested? I watch for any sign that he's just trying to make fun of me before turning my eyes back down to the glass in my hands. The light reflex off the surface, making the bubbles glisten like little stars. It's such a small detail, which is often over looked as the drinker prefers to quench his thirst, not bothering or caring what is happening inside the drink itself.<br>"There's a high chance that it'll die anyway," I pause for a second to see if he laughs. He doesn't. "Because of my diabetes, and not counting the dangers of being a male pregnancy, I am five times more likely to have a still born, and it's three times more likely to die within four weeks of birth. I don't think I'll be able to deal with that, so it's better to get rid now…before I become more attached." A lone tear slides down my face, but I don't bother to wipe it off. We sit in silence, me not daring to speak anymore but I don't know what's going through Cartman's head. My tear finally falls from my face and lands in my clear drink.  
>"Those are just fucking figures, Kahl." Cartman jumps off the couch to stand in front of me while I look up at him. "Obviously who ever has told you this hasn't taken one thing into account."<br>"What?"  
>"It's DNA! It's going to have the genes of the biggest fighters in South Park. You and me, Kahl! We both beat AIDS, remember? We found the cure for it; you know why?"<br>"Because you gave me AIDS…?"  
>"Because we're fighters. Neither of us ever backs down. Think about it, is our child actually going to sit back and take what those fucking statics say? I don't think so; it's going to be a fighter, just like you and just like me." I sit stunned by his words; I'd never think Cartman would be so…passionate about this.<br>"Does this mean you believe me about being pregnant then?" Cartman's once full of life face turns back to a disinterested one.  
>"Of course fucking not! You're still a stupid freak, I don't see why you're going through all of this just to get to me." Hurt by his words yet again, my brighten mood turns back to sadness. Why must I make an idiot of myself like that? Why must I get my hopes up just for them to plummet back down in an instant? A silence once again consumes us.<p>

Once I got back home, I didn't bother to make my family aware, instead I ran straight to my room and cried my eyes out. I don't know what to do now. Cartman had got me so hopeful. So hopeful about the fact that our child won't die. And so hopeful that I thought he actually cared. I do now know something for sure though…I can't fucking do this without him.

* * *

><p>Oh, so close, then Cartman has to ruin it with his denial<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

"You don't have to do this, dude"  
>"It's what's best, Stan"<br>"For who?" I titled my head slightly to look at an incredulous Stan.  
>"Me, my family…Cartman." I look away back to the empty corner of my room, while Stan huffs out a laugh. He just doesn't understand. How could he? He has Wendy, there's no chance of him getting pregnant by someone who seriously couldn't care less.<br>"What do you care how Cartman feels? If he doesn't want to be apart of this then fuck him. You're going to be a great parent Kyle, I know you will." Even though I smile softly at Stan's words, it does little to change my mind. I'd thought this decision over many times since coming back from Cartman's three days ago, and had gone ahead to book the appointment for an abortion. My parents had had their turn to change my mind, stating that they'd help with anything, and that I'm not alone in this. Then Ike had come to talk, saying he'd always be there for me. But none of this had turned out in their favour, nor mine; it just made me think how much I'd like Cartman to be saying all this to me. In a moment of desperation, my family had called round Stan to help, but it would seem, that was doing nothing for them either.  
>"It's not so much that I care what he feels, it just…"I trailed off biting my nails.<br>"Just what?" Stan asks in a soft concerned tone.  
>"Just…a child is big reasonability, and if I'm going to have one…I want the father to be involved or at least care." By the end of the sentence, I'm looking down at my feet picking at my socks instead. Not hearing anything for a while, I guess that Stan is thinking. Most likely for a way to help but, I doubt he'll get anything.<br>"So, say that the dad was involved," Stan starts, and his sudden hypothetical voice makes me look up at him, "you would keep the baby?" The question surprises me to say the least, and I can do nothing but stare dumbly at him.  
>But then I stutter out, "Urmm, yeah, yeah I guess so." That in turn, puts a kind, but slightly unnerving, smile on Stan's face.<br>"Great, I'll go and talk to Cartman." He announces before jumping off the bed, and I follow.  
>"No! Please don't Stan," I beg, but he just waves me off and carries on walking to my door.<br>"Listen, it'll be fine. You wait here and don't go anywhere until I come back." Stan says firmly, but I take no notice and groan loudly.  
>"I don't see how this will help at all Stan. When have we ever been able to convince him of something unless he wants to? Just leave it!" Then he's gone, with reassuring grin, he shuts the door behind him. I sigh loudly to myself before getting back onto my bed. His plan won't help with anything. "Just make matters worst," muttering to no one, I curl up into a protective ball.<p>

Two hours have past since Stan left, and I only have a half hour until my appointment. I know he said to stay put but…I can't miss it, I might change my mind later on. I need to get rid of it now, or I never will. I gaze down at stomach from where I'm laying on my back, and rub it gently while tapping my foot to the beat of the song blasting out my stereo.

"_Well I feel like a lady who is pregnant with a baby, 'cause I'm always throwing up_"

Frowning, I snap my hand away from my stomach and let it grip onto my bed covers while I turn my head away and stare at the door, hoping Stan would just walk through it already. It's the waiting that I hate, the not knowing what he could say when he comes back. I only see a small possibility that he'll come in with Cartman, who will admit how stupid he's been and we'll live happily ever after; but where's the realism in that? Maybe Cartman'll have a little heart though and at least say he's sorry and talk to me about this all. Then we, as mature intellectuals can sort out whether we're going to carry on with the abortion or decide to keep it and raise it equally, not together, but both still having a part in the child's life.

"'_Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares  
><em>_Someone to love with my life in their hands  
><em>_There's gotta be somebody_-"

"Right, that's enough, I'm leaving!" I announce to nobody and quickly get up to turn off my stereo, before grabbing my orange coat and making my way to the door. "I wouldn't mind so much, but it was on shuffle," I mutter as my bedroom door clicks shut and I make my way to the abortion clinic.

* * *

><p>I know it's short, but I hadn't updated in so long and it was starting to bug me so, here you go. The next chapter will be up sooner than this one was.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

While I sit nervously in the slightly padded seat in the waiting room of the Unplanned Parenthood, I drum my fingers on my knee and think of what's to come. I'm still only sixteen; I've got loads of decisions left to choose from for my life. Having this baby would only limit them. I could follow my dad as lawyer like my family wants me to. Whereas I could do what I want, which would be something involved with the Denver Nuggets. I gave up on wanting to play with them a while back; I can see I'm never going to be tall enough. I could always be a psychologist. That'd be cool, I did once read like, all psychology books ever written. Yeah, I'll be a psychologist, then after I'm done with my education and have got a stable job, then I'll meet someone. We'll settle down, and one day, maybe while it's raining outside and we're stuck in sitting on the window sill where we're watching the rain fall down, he'll just pull out a ring and ask me to marry him, and of course, I'll say yes in a heart beat. Maybe a couple of months before the wedding day I'll find out I'm pregnant, but he won't run away, instead he'll stand by me. We'll have a beautiful little baby, and raise it as proud loving parents. Of course it won't always be perfect we will have our moments, many moments, where we just let go at each other: 'You goddamn dirty Jew!', 'Fuck you, you Nazi bastard!' But we'll get past it with a few whispered words, and end it with passiona-no! No!

Quickly sitting up straight, looking back on the future I've just created, I see him, only him. His smile is plastered in my mind. Taunting me. How long is it going to take for my brain to realize that we _don't_ want that fatass? I won't love Cartman.

I rub my hands over my face, to help wash the images away, before looking back up at the opposite wall filled with posters. Amongst the peaceful pictures of the sea and trees, there's a plain white one that catches my eye.

'You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.'

"Oh come on! How is that even necessary in an abortion clinic?" I ignore the receptionist as she irritably tells me 'shh', and slump back in my chair, cross my arms and stare at the other wall instead; this one without unhelpful quotes littered on it. I need him out of my head. As soon as the baby is out of my stomach, I'm sure Cartman will follow from my head. When the baby is out off me. When the baby is gone.

I quickly go to the toilet and splash some water on my face to help calm my nerves. It's the waiting that's bugging me; it's giving me time to let my mind wonder. With my hands lying heavy on the counter I stare down at my stomach, which causes the butterflies to race. I can just see my small baby feeling confused, its sad little face looking up at me. Slowly lifting up a shaky hand I let it rub my swollen tummy, and smiling sadly I whisper "I'm sorry baby," before heading back out into the waiting room.

Once the nurse finally calls me in the room, I sit on the couch whereas she sits on the chair next to it. My knees shake and I can't help but fiddle with my hands between them. I look around at the painted pink walls of the small room, anything to distract me. The feeling of guilt starts to overthrow my body. Despite my words of encouragement and how this is what's best, that I wouldn't be any good as a single parent, it's just the kindest thing to do; my body screams out for me to run out of the room and hold my belly tight so no one can take my baby away from me.

"Are you sure abortion is the decision you want to make? There are other choices, and once the pill is taken there's no going back, with the 90% chance that the abortion will go through," I nod quickly biting the inside of cheeks so I don't say anything stupid. "Alright then, do you know the date of conception?" She asks while flipping a page on her clip board.

Taking a deep breath I nod again, "Nine weeks and three days ago, I think that's like February 9th" There's a silence that follows as the nurse proceeds to scribble something down, and I start to feel sick by the rate the butterflies are spinning in my stomach.

"Well you're fine to take the pill then," she smiles up at me, "I'll just go and get it." Then she's standing up and crossing the room to the cabinet full of I'm guessing, Mifeprex. Closing my eyes I try to relax with the thoughts that it'll all be over soon, the baby will be gone.

Is that what I really want though?

Before I know it my eyes are being snapped open to the sound of the nurse placing a glass of water and two white pills on the glass table in front of me. "Take your time," she mutters as I stare at the objects. Without fully comprehending the movement, my hands are reaching out for the glass and one of the pills. Holding the small deadly pill in front of my face I scream in mind to just take it. Take it. Take it! TAKE IT!

* * *

><p>I've never had an abortion, I don't know how these things go.<br>To rose, firstly thank youu, omdays! I will be doing a sequel to 'My Life Sucked', but I want to be able to write the whole thing first before I start posting it, and since I don't have a completely solid story line yet, and with the way things are looking at school, it might take me a while.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as I step out of the clinic into the cold air, I take a refreshing deep breath which helps relieve my tense stance. I go to take a step forward and make my way home, but the dizziness overpowers me; so instead I am forced to grip the wall and slide down to the floor. This is most defiantly a day I don't want to go through again. Thinking to myself, there's only one question that swarms my mind: have I made the right choice?

I'm just a kid, but I know that going through months of pregnancy for the end point to be holding a baby in my arms would be amazing; maybe the greatest feeling in the world. I can do that later though…when I'm ready. I don't want to think about it anymore, I feel in no frame of mind to. Instead I sit and watch the life around me unfold, letting my mind rest from its racing state.

"Kyle…Kyle!" Jerking my head to the source of the sound, I'm welcome to the sight of Stan rushing towards me, but then I frown…as Cartman following not too far behind enters my eyesight. "What are you doing?" Stan asks in a panicked tone when he reaches me. All I can do is look up at him as he starts to pace in front of me, gripping his black hair. "I can't believe you actually went through with it. That's a life you've just got rid of Kyle! How could you be so selfish?" He stops to look over a Cartman before pointed a finger at him, "and you. If only you could be more mature and not think every little thing is about you!" I have nothing to say, I'm too stunned at the way Stan is lashing out, it's so…irregular, he's normally the calm one in our small group. Although the tone used with me was teeming with disappointment, compared to the intense anger with Cartman, I'm so wounded. Haven't I suffered enough?

"Don't put this blame on me Stan, I came here with you didn't I? It's not my fault the Jew was in such a hurry to get rid of it."

"But it is your fault; if you'd just listened to him we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"I didn't want to be a fucking father! If anything I'm glad he went through with the abortion."

Whereas Stan doesn't say anything to this, I start to laugh. I laugh at their pointless argument, and laugh at Cartman's statement of not wanting to be a father because "I didn't go through with the abortion." I giggle up at them as they stare in shock down at me. As I slowly remove myself from the floor and back into a standing position, Cartman manages to stutter out a 'what?' "You heard me," I tell him smirking smugly, "I didn't go through with abortion. Couldn't. I'm not going to kill my baby. Whether you want it or not, I'm going to have our child, with or without your acceptance." With that I brush past the unsettled father of my still growing baby, and make my way back home with my head held high and Stan shortly following by my side.  
>"I'm proud of you Kyle," he smiles, "I know you can do this without him." I can only hope so, though I can't deny how much I want to do this with him. But the love for my unborn baby out rules the need for him now.<p>

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><p>Sorry for keeping you in suspension, of course he wouldn't go through with the abortion, I am very much against abortion, so I wouldn't let the people in my stories get one. I have an idea of what to write next, but if anyone has any ideas for me, at all, I'd be very happy to hear them.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

My family were over the moon when I got home, they couldn't have been happier. It's strange to think that. You read all these stories of parents kicking their children out once they become pregnant, or forcing them into abortion; and yet my family were persuading me to keep the baby. I feel so foolish now looking back on what I was going to do. As I sit here absent-mindedly rubbing my swollen stomach while doing my homework, I think towards the future. So this situation may not be perfect, I can't imagine it any other way. Once I get to about five to six months pregnant I'll switch to being home tutored by my mother. She'll help me raise the baby for as long as I need her to. When I am old enough, and feel fit to look after the baby on my own, my father will generously give me some money to get on my feet and find a house for me and my baby. I think I'll still stay in South Park; there are plenty of places to live here, what with all the mayhem that goes on, a lot of people choose not to live here, surprisingly. This is all what me and my family had discussed last night. We figured if we planned out the details early on, it'll be easier when the time comes. For now though, all I really have to worry about is keeping up at school and keeping my baby healthy.

The days seem to be going way too slowly for my liking. Nine weeks and four days crawls gradually into nine weeks and five days, to nine weeks and six days. Now with only about 30 weeks left to go. The problem is that I don't really have anything to preoccupy my mind with. School works for the six hours I'm there, and then Stan and Kenny can try to entertain me with whatever nonsense we decide to do that day. Yet they treat me different. I feel less and less like one the lads as they try to be more careful with me while I'm in this condition. I even miss the highly offensive insults. But it'll all be worth it in the end, a time that is no where near.

Ten weeks.

"The foetus is now the size of a small strawberry, the feet are 2mm long and the neck is beginning to take shape," I frown at the book I'm reading, urmm 'Foetal Development', trying to understand what's going on inside me. It's so weird that there's something living in me, something that will one day be running around, so much bigger than the size it is now. "The foetus is constantly moving, although you will not be able to feel it for another several more weeks. Constantly moving, huh?" I look quickly down at my stomach, and concentrate attentively to see any type of movement.

The sudden knock at the door makes me jump in fright, and grip my t-shirt above my heart now thumping in my chest. Giggling nervously, I place my book down on the coffee table and processed to open to front door of my family home. The darkness on the other side of the window gives me no clue as to who is on the other side of the door. I open the door cautiously and stare in shock at the figure now in front of me. Then without fully comprehending my actions, my hand flies down to protect my stomach. "Stop staring at me Jew," Cartman murmurs irritability, all I can do is look away slightly at the side of his head instead.

"What do you want?" I ask in the most nonchalant voice I can gather, still without looking back at him.

"We need to talk," he states simply, and I take a hesitant step back opening the door wider for him to advance in. I sit back down on the couch as Cartman strides over. "This could be one very thought out scheme Kahl, just so you can laugh in my face for believing your sneaky Jew lies. Remember what I did to make you admit that might've been real; I practically gave Ben Affleck a hand job, so many hand jobs!"

"But I'm not you Cartman, I don't do that shit. You mess with people's lives."

"And that's exactly what you're doing!"

"But I'm telling the truth!" I yell back at him, now standing from the couch. "You're messing with our child's future life. You're messing with my mind." I whisper before looking away in discomfit at what I'd just announced.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Kahl?" He asks with inquisitive anger, and I begin to smirk slyly, feeling a sudden sense of confidence. Our relationship is down the drain as it is, not that it was ever great. What will giving a little push of flirtation do? Plus I pregnant, my hormones are crazy, I can always blame it on that. I mentally shrug before sauntering towards the larger teen.

"I like you Cartman. More than I should. I still think about that night, the night our baby was conceived. I can't get it out of mind. It was good Cartman, it was _so _good…and I want more of it. I want you." As Cartman stands in astonishment, he lets the corners of his mouth form a pleasing smile. For most this sight would be disturbing, and they'd be worried of what's behind it; what scheme he's coming up with next. But I'm used to it, and right now, I welcome it.

"Yeah?" Cartman challenges seductively, closing the already short distance between us.

"Yeah," and as I stare into his brown eyes filled with a hint of lust, I see exactly what I want and exactly what I'm about to have. I don't try to stop myself as I smile mischievously up into the face of the one I should hate, feeling all negative emotions towards him wash away as he moves even closer.

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><p>This was done a while ago but I just kinda forgot to upload it, sorry ^^'. I'm having super difficulty on the next chapter, anyone wanna help me? :D<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

I am continuing to post this story on my DeviantART and there only.

I'm sorry, but I just don't like the feel of anymore, and much prefer it over at DevaintART


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